Currently Listening Fullmetal Alchemist Radio DJ CD Vol. 2 By Japanimation see related

Ever since summer, I just haven't been feeling like myself. I just.....there's something missing. I don't mean to sound like a head-case, it's just....that my parents don't listen to me, and when they do, they don't understand, so I always end up pouring out my emotions on the internet. I end up sounding like some wierdo that's crying out for attention, but that's not it. I mean, I can go from being sad to happy to angry to depressed in one day, and I'm tired of it. I can just get angry by hearing someone talking, and I'll either want to beat the shit out of them, or just start randomly crying. Damn it! I hate having emotions. I wish I didn't have emotions. Has anyone noticed that the word emotions has the word emo in it? See? That's what I mean. I change my emotions constantly without meaning it. It pisses me off! When I started school, I thought it was ok, but now, I feel like there's too much on my plate, and I've been feeling really down. I just....hate myself for no reason. I would even end my life, but I'm not THAT stupid!!!! I mean, just because I'm feeling depressed, doesn't mean I'm going to throw everything away! I mean, there is my friends, my family, and even the people that don't care about me I  have to think about. I just.....need a break from it all. I wish I could just go to a place where it was just me, and all my favorite animated friends. We would just all be togther, with my other friends. In exception that they don't LIE . If the person that I'm talking about reads this, know that I'm pissed at you. That one liar can change my fantasy world into a NIGHTMARE. I was afraid to post this on dA because of Kylee's recent emotional outpour, and people would think that I was copying her for attention. But I'm not. I'm just tired of the way things have been going. I just hope that things start to look up.

 ~Alexandra